Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I'm scared...

I was nervous all yesterday about the Dr. visit this afternoon, but what really scared me this morning was some spotting and a light positive pregnancy test. So light, that I could compare it to some of my first positives from almost a week ago! WTF? So my dumb ass uses a digital with fairly dilute urine about an hour after last peeing. It said not pregnant. I don't know what to think. My FRER yesterday was the most positive that it has ever been...that was around 3pm. Then this morning when i tested with FMU after sleeping for about 5 hours, the FRER is that light? I think I'm going to take some of my tests with me and show the doc and ask her opinion. The spotting has stopped (as far as I know) and i think it only lasted for about an hour or so. It was very mucusy/dark red/brown and never was pad/tampon worthy. I think I'm going to insist on the doc doing a blood test...hoping for betas. I really hope this isn't going the direction that I am thinking (chemical/miscarriage). I am so in love with my baby already...i am heartbroken just THINKING that something might be wrong.


UPDATE: Laid back down and held my pee for another 3 hours. Took another digital. Positive this time. That made me feel better, but it still doesn't explain the spotting or why the FRER is getting lighter??? Doc @ 3pm. Amber is taking off this afternoon to come with me to the appt. I love her.
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2 comments:

LDT: Blog said...

Hang in there ladies. I’m thinking of you and sending sticky vibes. They should for sure do a concentrated urine test today and I would totally ask for a blood test. I remember this fear like it was yesterday and I can completely relate. Ask them for what you need to feel secure. I’m mentally willing everything to be fine! Take care!

May 4, 2010 at 10:42 AM
Unknown said...

Hi Hev and Amz,

I found your blog on lesbianfamily.org. Congrats on your pregnancy -- hope everything goes well!

I hope you don’t mind me writing to tell you about my book.

I am coeditor of a new anthology on queer parenting, just released in the United States: And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents and Our Unexpected Families. As we say on our cover copy, it’s “a funny and occasionally heartbreaking collection of personal essays that offers an intimate and unprecedented look at the relative risks and unexpected rewards of queer, do-it-yourself baby-making. While in many cases these are stories of finding (or not) the “right” biological stuff for baby making, they are also stories that call on us to re-conceive of family beyond biology.”

We’ve been getting great reviews from the likes of Bay Windows (“And Baby Makes More is a thoughtful, funny, and poignant volume about the variety of ways we define families today.”), Mombian (“... the kind of rich explorations of LGBTQ parenting we need more of today”), The Dominion (“The stories in this collection are loud and inspiring examples of courage, creativity and love and queer parenting. ... This book succeeds in the most urgent of the game: creating a space for the stories to be heard.”) and the Gay & Lesbian Review (“... diverse, poignant, and sometimes very funny.... surprising, enlightening and mandatory reading for any lesbians or gay men thinking of embarking on adventures in the wild world of parenthood.”)

I hope the anthology might be of interest to you, and to your extended circles of family and friends. We’d very much appreciate it if you would pass on the word to anyone you think might enjoy the book, which is available online and at many independent and alternative bookstores. You can find more information as well at my blog: http://mamanongrata.com/?page_id=303.

All the best for a Happy Mother’s Day!
Susan Goldberg

May 4, 2010 at 11:26 AM

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