Surgery in less than 2 weeks...

...and it sucks. I am having my basketball sized ovarian cyst (along with my right ovary) removed sometime within the next two weeks. I have so many emotions going on in my head right now, but most of them are fear and guilt. I will be out of work for at least 6 weeks. This isn't the way I imagined my 2nd trimester going. *sigh*

A Few Good Things...

Well, Friday I had my dreaded ultrasound...which turned out to be fairly decent. I was supposed to have a pelvic transvaginal ultrasound which required me to drink 32 oz of water and then hold my bladder for a couple hours. That was hard. However, the tech said "let's try a transabdominal first" and it turns out we didn't have to do the transvag after all. I didn't realize they were going to spend so much time looking at baby, but it was a definite bonus. She measured each of the long bones, the head in every possible way, the belly, checked perfusion, showed me the kidneys, etc. She would stop and let me watch when the baby waived, or twisted around, and when it got hiccups. It was so cute to watch the whole baby jump each time it got a hiccup. I finnally got to see a decent profile. The heart rate was 157, which is down from 170 at 12 weeks. The only thing I didn't like was, because this was the tech that was doing it (my OB has done all the rest of my ultrasounds), I didn't get any "info." She wouldn't tell me if everything looked good/bad, or if the baby was measuring on target. She did tell me that she couldn't tell the gender yet.

Now on to the mass...it appears to be a cyst. It's still too big to tell where it attaches. The tech measured the cyst from every which way. It turns out its a little bigger than we originally thought...a little wider. So it's now a basketball, and no longer a football. Hope the baby is into sports. The tech stopped at one point and went and got the radiologist. She came in and said "wow, that's a big doo-dad you got in there." She kept asking if it hurt, or if I ever got pain. I told them no, although in the last few weeks, it smarts a bit when it gets hit (by a dog, by the med machine at work, by a car door). She told me "don't be suprised if you hear from your OB before your scheduled appointment." I asked her if she had any idea where it was coming from, and she said that when they see a cyst like this, their first thought is ovarian. Not good. So now I'm really scared that I'll have to have surgery. It's even harder to consent to getting put under general anasthesia after I saw the baby moving around. It's so...real now. I don't want to have surgery. Period. The docs are gonna have to convince me that the baby's or my life is at stake if I don't get the cyst removed. The whole idea of it scares me so bad, and pisses me off just the same. I don't want to put our baby at risk! I'm guessing I'll hear from my OB sometime early next week.

Today, Amz was feeling on my tummy and when she got over the uterus (i can now find it easily) she said it felt like I was vibrating. So i felt, and I could feel some fluttering. We ran and got the doppler (which has been useless up to this point) and the second I put the probe down on my stomach, I heard the heartbeat. Steady and strong at 156. We listened for about a minute until baby got shy and changed positions. It was really great to be able to FEEL and HEAR something without the aid of doctors. Amber and I were both really happy about it. I think I can feel the baby so early (especially since I'm a fluffy girl) because of the cyst. The baby sits in between my bladder and the cyst. That's why as the baby gets bigger, I've had to pee more often and the cyst feels like it's under my ribs. So when my bladder is full, my uterus really pops out.

So, although I'm not the least bit happy about this cyst...I am loving being able to interact with our little one. I'd include the 1 pic I got from the ultrasound yesterday, but the baby's face just looks like a little skull...which is kinda weird/freaky. So, hopefully I'll get a decent profile pic (and maybe a gender shot) when I have my anatomy scan.

EVIL TWIN...

So...i'm a little over 14 weeks now, and i'm beginning to feel quite uncomfortable at times. I don't sleep very well anymore...at all. I have always been a stomach sleeper, but even on my tempurpedic mattress it feels like i'm sleeping on a baseball. I know that's due to the fibroid thing and not the baby, but i now have to have 2 large pillows between my legs and one under my side to support my belly or i can't sleep. I feel like this is happening too soon, and I know it's because of this damn fibroid thing. (For those that don't know, when I found out I was preggo...I also found out I had a mass [most likely uterine fibroid] about the size of a child's football measuring in at 11 in x 4 in.) I've noticed some shortness of breath in the last two weeks. And sure enough, when I feel that way, if I press on my chest just below my boobs i can feel a rock hard mass. My belly button is displaced to the left because of the fibroid. Friends who know about the baby/fibroid "lovingly" refer to it as the "EVIL TWIN." This Friday I go in to have some scans done of the mass so they can definitively diagnose it. My doctor said it "looks and feels" like a fibroid, but because of the size, they can't see it's point of attachment, and therefore cannot diagnose it as a fibroid. If they find that it is anything but a fibroid, I've been told to gear up for surgery sometime in the 2nd trimester. So...I guess now i'm nervous. Nervous and uncomfortable. And stupid. Because yesterday I somehow managed to slam my car door into my side, pushing me up against the car frame and causing a very anxious couple of hours of cramping...right where the fibroid is. Woohoo. I'm hoping all this isn't effecting bean.

Sex...

IntelliGender says boy. Very clearly boy. We're not putting much stock into it, but it was kinda fun (although smelly). I'm hoping it is right, while Amz is hoping it is wrong. LOL. Names are picked out...would just love to know who this little one will be!