This past week has been super stressful. Nursing school has definitely picked up pace. I know there are a lot of health care professionals on the boards and blogger, so maybe y'all can appreciate where I'm coming from. Right now I work the hours of an actual RN and on top of that, I have to study for exams and (recent development) work as a substitute teacher.
Tuesday (2/17): Pediatric Nursing Test
Wednesday: Pediatric Nursing Clinical (NICU Level II)
Thursday: Community Health Clinical
Friday: High Acuity Clinical (Neuro ICU, night shift)
Saturday: Sleep off night shift. Study for High Acuity test.
Sunday: High Acuity Clinical (Neuro ICU, night shift)
Monday: Sleep off night shift. Study for High Acuity test...all night.
Tuesday (2/24): High Acuity Test. (Passed!)
I haven't slept that much this week, which has definitely taken it's toll. I have had major headaches at least 3 times this week. Unfortunately, the schedule you see above happens every other week. However, Tuesdays-Thursdays will be the same EVERY week.
I found out today that some of the students in my class are feeling the pressure even more than myself; a few of them are one's that really surprised me. I guess I'm doing better than I thought...way to keep my shit together!!!
In TTC news, my CBEFM is reading high. Still no positive OPKs, or even slightly positive. Maybe the Internet cheapies just aren't for me. :-/
Okay, so even though I took a nap earlier today...I'm still tired and will probably head to bed soon. I can't wait for all this hard work to pay off...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
100 days...
Today is not a good day...
Amz and I are in an argument.
Two days ago Amz was nervous as hell about an interview because of how much it would mean to us if she got the job. Because of the opportunities that would open up for us if she were chosen for the position. Yesterday was her interview which she said went really well, and then told me that if she got the job she wouldn't be able to start until June. I was really happy for her, and didn't think much of the June statement until I overheard her talking to 1 of her friends on the phone last night. Turns out it was her choice to start in June. They told her during the training period that she wouldn't be able to take any vacation days. So she chose her trip to Tulsa to see a concert over any possibility of starting her new career anytime soon. That pissed me off. She definitely wasn't thinking about us when she told them that.
If it were a once in a lifetime chance to see this band; I might have thought differently...however, she has already seen them 5+ times and even got a meet & greet pass last September. On top of that, there were ways to get around taking vacation days...the concert is on a weekend. She could have taken a red eye flight to Tulsa the Friday before the concert, spent the weekend enjoying the festivities, and then taken another red eye back home on Sunday night. No time off, and no missed concert. Plus, she would've been working 3 months so she could have afforded to fly to the concert (like really afforded it...it's a pretty nice check if she gets the job). But no...it's important to take that Friday and that Monday off so she can DRIVE to Tulsa with a friend that's coming into town. Those 2 measly little days would delay her starting her career for THREE MONTHS.
This concert is really starting to annoy me...like a lot.
On top of that, we really need the money. I'm scrambling to stay on top of things financially, because student loans just aren't covering it this semester. My tax return is already spent and I haven't even got it yet. Not to mention our living arrangement STILL sucks. I'm not the only one that thinks so...2 days ago it was important to her to move...but now it can wait until after June. I even started substitute teaching again to get a little extra money. I've only worked once so far, but I've updated my profile availability. I seriously don't have the time to sub, because I'm already drowning in school, but I'm doing it because I need to.
*sighs*
I shouldn't have to worry about this right now...I've got a 12 hour night shift ahead of me that I should be preparing for. But no, this is what is going to eat away at my mind all night.
Sorry there's nothing about TTC in this entry, i just needed to vent.
Amz and I are in an argument.
Two days ago Amz was nervous as hell about an interview because of how much it would mean to us if she got the job. Because of the opportunities that would open up for us if she were chosen for the position. Yesterday was her interview which she said went really well, and then told me that if she got the job she wouldn't be able to start until June. I was really happy for her, and didn't think much of the June statement until I overheard her talking to 1 of her friends on the phone last night. Turns out it was her choice to start in June. They told her during the training period that she wouldn't be able to take any vacation days. So she chose her trip to Tulsa to see a concert over any possibility of starting her new career anytime soon. That pissed me off. She definitely wasn't thinking about us when she told them that.
If it were a once in a lifetime chance to see this band; I might have thought differently...however, she has already seen them 5+ times and even got a meet & greet pass last September. On top of that, there were ways to get around taking vacation days...the concert is on a weekend. She could have taken a red eye flight to Tulsa the Friday before the concert, spent the weekend enjoying the festivities, and then taken another red eye back home on Sunday night. No time off, and no missed concert. Plus, she would've been working 3 months so she could have afforded to fly to the concert (like really afforded it...it's a pretty nice check if she gets the job). But no...it's important to take that Friday and that Monday off so she can DRIVE to Tulsa with a friend that's coming into town. Those 2 measly little days would delay her starting her career for THREE MONTHS.
This concert is really starting to annoy me...like a lot.
On top of that, we really need the money. I'm scrambling to stay on top of things financially, because student loans just aren't covering it this semester. My tax return is already spent and I haven't even got it yet. Not to mention our living arrangement STILL sucks. I'm not the only one that thinks so...2 days ago it was important to her to move...but now it can wait until after June. I even started substitute teaching again to get a little extra money. I've only worked once so far, but I've updated my profile availability. I seriously don't have the time to sub, because I'm already drowning in school, but I'm doing it because I need to.
*sighs*
I shouldn't have to worry about this right now...I've got a 12 hour night shift ahead of me that I should be preparing for. But no, this is what is going to eat away at my mind all night.
Sorry there's nothing about TTC in this entry, i just needed to vent.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
107 days...
It's been a while since I've updated, but that's because nothing is really new.
I got over being sick, but now I have make up work for my pediatric clinicals. I had a group project over the time I was sick, and my group basically did their own thing without consulting me or adding any of the info I had put together. I was a little peeved, but I guess they felt like they had to, but I'm not the type to slack on a group project...sick or not. They called and asked me to work on a specific section of the presentation, so I worked hard on it, and then they didn't even tell me that they changed our objectives and that all the work I had done was obsolete. So when I show up to our scheduled meeting time to put the presentation together, they were like "that's not going to work, so I'll just use what I came up with." Funny thing was, that's the ONLY part that we got points counted off on. Whatever. I hate having my grade in someone else's hands.
TTC plans may or may not be put on hold; I'm going to try and lose more weight and I need to focus on that. I'm still going to use the monitor and see if it regulates to my body within the next few cycles, and I'll start with OPKs after I get a high reading on the monitor. But I'm not even going to try with temping and testing isn't going to be a priority. I want to get my BMI down so that working with a doctor goes smoothly if/when it needs to happen. Also, I think that my weight may be keeping me from ovulating regularly. I know that my cycle is pretty regular (32-33 days), but I don't know if I'm ovulating...maybe that's why I never got a positive OPK or a peak on my monitor. So...that's where I'm at right now.
I lead a kind of boring and slightly depressing life...w00t.
I got over being sick, but now I have make up work for my pediatric clinicals. I had a group project over the time I was sick, and my group basically did their own thing without consulting me or adding any of the info I had put together. I was a little peeved, but I guess they felt like they had to, but I'm not the type to slack on a group project...sick or not. They called and asked me to work on a specific section of the presentation, so I worked hard on it, and then they didn't even tell me that they changed our objectives and that all the work I had done was obsolete. So when I show up to our scheduled meeting time to put the presentation together, they were like "that's not going to work, so I'll just use what I came up with." Funny thing was, that's the ONLY part that we got points counted off on. Whatever. I hate having my grade in someone else's hands.
TTC plans may or may not be put on hold; I'm going to try and lose more weight and I need to focus on that. I'm still going to use the monitor and see if it regulates to my body within the next few cycles, and I'll start with OPKs after I get a high reading on the monitor. But I'm not even going to try with temping and testing isn't going to be a priority. I want to get my BMI down so that working with a doctor goes smoothly if/when it needs to happen. Also, I think that my weight may be keeping me from ovulating regularly. I know that my cycle is pretty regular (32-33 days), but I don't know if I'm ovulating...maybe that's why I never got a positive OPK or a peak on my monitor. So...that's where I'm at right now.
I lead a kind of boring and slightly depressing life...w00t.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
116 days...
I'm sick. For the first time since nursing school started, I had to call in and tell my professor I couldn't make it to the clinical. I mean...i would have suffered thru it if it were an option, but working with kids in the hospital...not an option with a 102 degree temp. Officially, I have tonsillitis, and unofficially strep. The NP only had rapid strep tests for Strep A, and I'm prone to getting Strep C. It sure feels like Strep C. My fever has been on and off for the last 2 days. I felt good for a little while last night, but then after I laid down my fever came back. So I'd be super hot, then break my fever, wake up in a pool of sweat, and then freeze. Repeat. I feel like a bum cuz there is stuff I really need to be doing. I have a group presentation next Tuesday and my group members are working their butts off, and I am sitting at home. I'd work on it myself if I could, but we've been working together so I can't make any executive decisions on my own. I'm going to call and see if we can work online together this evening. I hate being sick.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
119 days...
I feel like everything I thought I knew about TTC has just gone out the window. *sighs* I feel like I have to prepare for it, but at the same time I feel like its causing unnecessary stress. Since I've been temping/charting/prepping/testing I've been preoccupied with it, and absolutely NOTHING has gone right. Temping never works out because I'm either too tired to remember to grab the thermometer first thing in the morning, or I'm not on a regular sleeping schedule because of school/clinicals. So i thought that the CBEFM would help since I have a larger window to test in, and I've been great about getting up and testing, but I haven't seen a peak. I've had high fertility for more than a week. So, I read that the first month the monitor might not pick up the hormone because it needs to get used to you. Well, i thought for sure that the OPKs would pick up the LH surge, so I started testing on CD 12. Nothing. No temp spike, no peak, no positive OPK. On top of that, on a whim, I asked DP to POAS. Almost positive. So I had her do it again the next day...BAM...positive OPK. I am super happy that at least one of us is ovulating, but bummed that I've put all this effort into it and haven't even seen a glimmer of hope.
Yeah, so that's where I'm at right now. I'll continue to use the monitor in hopes that it'll get used to me and eventually pick up my surge. But I've got to take this on in a more relaxed manner. I'm tired of adding more stress to my already hectic schedule.
Yeah, so that's where I'm at right now. I'll continue to use the monitor in hopes that it'll get used to me and eventually pick up my surge. But I've got to take this on in a more relaxed manner. I'm tired of adding more stress to my already hectic schedule.
Friday, January 30, 2009
121 days...
CD 14 and no peak on the CBEFM and no +OPK. After carefully reviewing my FF charts and researching about the different phases of the menstrual cycles, I may have actually ovulated later than I thought last month. Therefore, I may have ovulated on CD 17 last month, instead of CD 16. However, November's chart says I ovulated on the CD 15. I'm knew to this, and I'm just wondering if its normal for the day you ovulate to vary between 3 days when your cycle length doesn't really vary? Right now, it appears that I ovulate on either CD 15, 16, or 17. If I were to ovulate on the 15th this month, I should be getting a peak reading on the monitor and +OPKs...so obviously its not the 15th this month. *sighs* I hate feeling discouraged. I wish something would just be definitive! That's why I broke down and spent the $ on the CBEFM! This has put me in a sour mood, and DP has picked up on it. *sighs again* Let's hope the day gets better...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
124 days...
Today is CD 11 (oh, that reminds me I need to go to FF and input my info from this morning) and for the last 3 mornings, I've been getting high fertility readings on my CBEFM. From what I've read about the monitor, it helps you pinpoint your 5 most fertile days. Well if this is true, then I should get a peak either tomorrow or Thursday. Meaning that I should ovulate 24-48 hours later (so I should O sometime between CD 13-15). So whenever I get a peak, I'm going to test with an OPK and confirm. I'm hoping I'll get a peak/+OPK on Thursday because that would mean I ovulate pretty consistently. I think CD 13 is a bit too early for me, when FF and my "natural cues" conclude that I ovulate around CD15/16. I guess we'll see...
I started looking into other sperm banks because the one I intend to use has been screwing clients over left and right, and recently started denying people. When it comes time, I will still send in my info and cross my fingers that I'm accepted, but if not...I have another backup already. Only problem with the back up is that I'll need a Dr.'s signature before I can purchase samples. I hope that's not going to be an issue for me. I'm so apprehensive about how receptive OB/GYNs and fertility specialists in this area will be. I guess we'll just push forward and do whatever it takes.
Amz got an email from one of the social service jobs. We'll hear more within 48 hours! We are both super excited and hope this means good things for us in the not so distant future (i.e. getting out of our current living situation, adopting a puppy, and saving like crazy for a baby!) I know we shouldn't get our hopes up, but in all honesty, we didn't get them up...we just got hope. lol. We had prepared ourselves for rejection, so now that good news has come our way, it is impossible not to have hope! As it stands right now, DP will continue to work full time at her old college job, she will go in for substitute teacher training in Feb., and we'll keep our fingers crossed about the social services job.
School is sucking, but that's not abnormal. I have a pediatric clinical tomorrow...I really don't want to start and IV on a kid. Please, please, please, don't make me start an IV tomorrow. I'm in the NICU, but its a "feeders and growers" unit. Which means, that I may have to assist with IVs/intubating/and NG tube placement. I am pretty sure they're not going to let me do it on my own, it being my first day and all. However, I know I'm going to be pushing meds, doing feeds, vitals, and changing a lot of size "super tiny" diapers. The NICU always scares me a little...okay...a lot.
Well, I think I've written enough of a book already, so I bid you adieu.
I started looking into other sperm banks because the one I intend to use has been screwing clients over left and right, and recently started denying people. When it comes time, I will still send in my info and cross my fingers that I'm accepted, but if not...I have another backup already. Only problem with the back up is that I'll need a Dr.'s signature before I can purchase samples. I hope that's not going to be an issue for me. I'm so apprehensive about how receptive OB/GYNs and fertility specialists in this area will be. I guess we'll just push forward and do whatever it takes.
Amz got an email from one of the social service jobs. We'll hear more within 48 hours! We are both super excited and hope this means good things for us in the not so distant future (i.e. getting out of our current living situation, adopting a puppy, and saving like crazy for a baby!) I know we shouldn't get our hopes up, but in all honesty, we didn't get them up...we just got hope. lol. We had prepared ourselves for rejection, so now that good news has come our way, it is impossible not to have hope! As it stands right now, DP will continue to work full time at her old college job, she will go in for substitute teacher training in Feb., and we'll keep our fingers crossed about the social services job.
School is sucking, but that's not abnormal. I have a pediatric clinical tomorrow...I really don't want to start and IV on a kid. Please, please, please, don't make me start an IV tomorrow. I'm in the NICU, but its a "feeders and growers" unit. Which means, that I may have to assist with IVs/intubating/and NG tube placement. I am pretty sure they're not going to let me do it on my own, it being my first day and all. However, I know I'm going to be pushing meds, doing feeds, vitals, and changing a lot of size "super tiny" diapers. The NICU always scares me a little...okay...a lot.
Well, I think I've written enough of a book already, so I bid you adieu.
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