Friday, March 4, 2011
2 month update...
C had his 2 month appt this week. He weighs 12 pounds and is 23.5 inches long. His bottom is looking better with desonide ointment and triple paste. It's still going to be an uphill battle, but at least diaper changes are more comfortable for him now. He goes in for his PT evaluation on Tuesday. He also has a referral to see a dermatologist for his toosh, but it'll be a while before he gets an appt. C finally outgrew his newborn clothes. He fits into 0-3 comfortably. He had 3 shots at this appt and barely shed a tear. He ran a low grade temp that night, but overall took it like a champ. He still doesn't sleep well through the night. He gets really fussy at about 9 or 10 pm and then is whiney until about 12 or 1 am. I have to go back to work on the 14th, which I'm really not looking forward to. He starts daycare on the 21st because grandma will watch him while she's off work for a week. I wonder how he will do at daycare. He is so used to having his needs met right away, and I just can't imagine him having to cry it out while the daycare worker has to deal with another baby. Hopefully he'll get more attention because he'll be new and will also be the youngest one there. Luckily, DP's work is close by so she'll be able to stop by anytime. I'm also pretty nervous about returning to work. I've been away from patient care since November. Hopefully, it's like riding a bike! Hope everyone else is doing well!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Just a little "post-partum"
So, I'm admitting (and seeking help for) PPD. I haven't wanted to admit that my emotional instability could be PPD for a few weeks now, but even I'm starting to realize this is something more than the baby blues.
I've had a ton on my plate starting from the very beginning of pregnancy. First my progesterone was low so I was on supplements to support the pregnancy until 13 weeks. Then I had surgery to remove a soccer ball sized cyst from my right ovary at 18 weeks. I was out of work for 6 weeks for that procedure. Then I had elevated blood pressure and was put on light duty in November until delivery.
So I knew, without a doubt, that things would be more stressful once baby boy arrived. Duh. But, once again I was bombarded with all these unexpected hurdles. I make no milk. C lost almost a pound in 4 days and became jaundice due to lack of nutrition. I have to formula/bottle feed. Not happy. He has a milk protien allergy and is put on nutramigen. Okay fine. In order to give him ANY of my ever-dwindling breastmilk I had to remove all dairy from my diet. Look it up, it sucks. However, since he's been on special formula he has had the diaper rash from hell...yes we are still fighting it. I think it's formula related due to timing and his pedi just keeps treating for yeast. I'm putting my foot down next visit. That'd be visit number 8 in 7 weeks. He has a mild form of torticollis which causes his head to stay to the right. However, his hips point right too so I'm still trying to get answers from the pedi about that.
My health is shit. 2 weeks ago I went to the ER with chest pain that was terrible and scared me to death. They said I had pleurisy. 4 days after that, I'm back in the ER puking my guts out and with abdominal pain that was so bad I couldn't stand up. Turns out pleurisy was a misdiagnosis, and the chest pain was actually pain radiating from my badly inflammed pancreatitis and multiple gallstones. So a week in the hospital on a starvation diet until my pancreas had calmed down enough to have yet another abdominal surgery.
So on top of all that, I've been having overwhelming feelings of guilt due to C's conditions...I feel like I jacked him up in utero. Then I feel like if I could breastfeed, he wouldn't be suffering from this rash. I mean he screams like we are beating him at every diaper change. The whole breastfeeding thing really has me torn up. Baby boy enjoys it and it's so calming for him, but at this point I'm little more than a milk flavored pacifier.
So after a heart to heart with my beloved OB, I'm now starting anti-depressants and possibly counseling. I feel defeated...but I don't know what else to do.
I've had a ton on my plate starting from the very beginning of pregnancy. First my progesterone was low so I was on supplements to support the pregnancy until 13 weeks. Then I had surgery to remove a soccer ball sized cyst from my right ovary at 18 weeks. I was out of work for 6 weeks for that procedure. Then I had elevated blood pressure and was put on light duty in November until delivery.
So I knew, without a doubt, that things would be more stressful once baby boy arrived. Duh. But, once again I was bombarded with all these unexpected hurdles. I make no milk. C lost almost a pound in 4 days and became jaundice due to lack of nutrition. I have to formula/bottle feed. Not happy. He has a milk protien allergy and is put on nutramigen. Okay fine. In order to give him ANY of my ever-dwindling breastmilk I had to remove all dairy from my diet. Look it up, it sucks. However, since he's been on special formula he has had the diaper rash from hell...yes we are still fighting it. I think it's formula related due to timing and his pedi just keeps treating for yeast. I'm putting my foot down next visit. That'd be visit number 8 in 7 weeks. He has a mild form of torticollis which causes his head to stay to the right. However, his hips point right too so I'm still trying to get answers from the pedi about that.
My health is shit. 2 weeks ago I went to the ER with chest pain that was terrible and scared me to death. They said I had pleurisy. 4 days after that, I'm back in the ER puking my guts out and with abdominal pain that was so bad I couldn't stand up. Turns out pleurisy was a misdiagnosis, and the chest pain was actually pain radiating from my badly inflammed pancreatitis and multiple gallstones. So a week in the hospital on a starvation diet until my pancreas had calmed down enough to have yet another abdominal surgery.
So on top of all that, I've been having overwhelming feelings of guilt due to C's conditions...I feel like I jacked him up in utero. Then I feel like if I could breastfeed, he wouldn't be suffering from this rash. I mean he screams like we are beating him at every diaper change. The whole breastfeeding thing really has me torn up. Baby boy enjoys it and it's so calming for him, but at this point I'm little more than a milk flavored pacifier.
So after a heart to heart with my beloved OB, I'm now starting anti-depressants and possibly counseling. I feel defeated...but I don't know what else to do.
Friday, January 21, 2011
In my 2 weeks of experience...
I wanted to share some of the things that I wish I knew/had prior to bringing C home. Also, a couple of tips that might help someone else along the way.
*If you think you may be pumping, buy as many extra shields/flanges that you can afford. I hate washing/sterilizing pump parts. I know have 4 sets, and plan to add to this collection.
*Same goes for bottles. If you find a bottle your LO uses well/likes, buy a bunch. Washing/sterilizing...not fun. I think we have 10+ Dr. Brown in just the 4 oz size!
*Don't get stuck on a specific brand. We really wanted C to only use organic cotton disposable diapers before we made the move to cloth after belly button stump falls off. Well, C just pees right out of them! We were changing diapers/bedding/outfits/blankets like every 15 minutes. We went out and bought the pampers swaddlers that they used on him in the hospital, and while they don't prevent all leaks, they are much better.
*We didn't have any receiving blankets, other than the ones we stole from the hospital. Those swaddle blankets/sacks just won't cut it and they are so much more expensive. We have like 10 flannel receiving blankets now. Big fan here.
*No scratch mittens. The gerber kind suck. The first years and parents choice kind are made better than gerber, but the elastic around the wrist is too loose for the to effectively stay on. The best mittens we have were given to us by the hospital nursery. Had I known it'd be such a hassle to find decent ones outside of the hospital, I would have requested at least another pair. Our boy loves his hands; we call them his "best friends." He's constantly pulling at his hair, scratching his face, poking himself in the eye, etc. We trim his nails, but that doesn't stop everything. So mittens for him are a must. (if anyone knows of a decent brand that will actually stay on a newborn, let me know.)
*C was 7 pounds 2 oz at birth and lost 11oz by 4 days (due to my milk supply being low). He is already 21 inches long and has since gained weight and is above his birth weight. However, he doesn't fit into newborn anything!! We will put him in newborn creepers, but even those swallow him up. We received a creeper set made by carter's called "precious firsts". It is sold at target. When we first saw them we laughed and thought how tiny they were and that our child would surely not fit into them. Well, they are the only thing that fits him. The line doesn't have a lot of selection, but we bought everything we could find. C is probably pushing 8 pounds now, and these outfits are STILL the only thing that fits well. So if you LO could fit in preemie clothes if not for length like our son, u might wanna check this brand out.
*My little lamb bouncer. Love it. The swing...C really hasn't taken too.
*Wipe warmer. Great concept, epic fail. The wipes go cold 10 seconds after removing them from the warmer. They don't hold enough wipes. It seems to dry out the wipes. It's too bulky for the changing area.
*C is having wicked bad poops right now. We're monitoring to see if he has a milk protien allergy. All that poop led to a red, chapped, at one point cracked/bleeding little toosh. We tried desitin, butt pastes, lanolin, and eventually original A&D. The A&D has done a great job of creating a barrier, and his bum is looking 100% better.
*For little boys with circumcisions; Vaseline in the squeeze tube. One handed application is necessary to help prevent pee accidents. Minimizes prolonged exposure, less time for him to give anyone (including himself) a squirt.
*Snuggle nest sleeper. This is what we are currently using in the bed with us. It is portable, light, has a hard shell covered with soft/plush fabric, it has a little mattress and sleep positioned, and even a little light (although it's very dim as to not wake baby). C is only inches away from me when he sleeps, and DP doesn't feel like she's going to roll over on him. We got ours new at a consignment shop for $17. Definitely worth it!
That's it for now; I'm sure I'll add more later.
*If you think you may be pumping, buy as many extra shields/flanges that you can afford. I hate washing/sterilizing pump parts. I know have 4 sets, and plan to add to this collection.
*Same goes for bottles. If you find a bottle your LO uses well/likes, buy a bunch. Washing/sterilizing...not fun. I think we have 10+ Dr. Brown in just the 4 oz size!
*Don't get stuck on a specific brand. We really wanted C to only use organic cotton disposable diapers before we made the move to cloth after belly button stump falls off. Well, C just pees right out of them! We were changing diapers/bedding/outfits/blankets like every 15 minutes. We went out and bought the pampers swaddlers that they used on him in the hospital, and while they don't prevent all leaks, they are much better.
*We didn't have any receiving blankets, other than the ones we stole from the hospital. Those swaddle blankets/sacks just won't cut it and they are so much more expensive. We have like 10 flannel receiving blankets now. Big fan here.
*No scratch mittens. The gerber kind suck. The first years and parents choice kind are made better than gerber, but the elastic around the wrist is too loose for the to effectively stay on. The best mittens we have were given to us by the hospital nursery. Had I known it'd be such a hassle to find decent ones outside of the hospital, I would have requested at least another pair. Our boy loves his hands; we call them his "best friends." He's constantly pulling at his hair, scratching his face, poking himself in the eye, etc. We trim his nails, but that doesn't stop everything. So mittens for him are a must. (if anyone knows of a decent brand that will actually stay on a newborn, let me know.)
*C was 7 pounds 2 oz at birth and lost 11oz by 4 days (due to my milk supply being low). He is already 21 inches long and has since gained weight and is above his birth weight. However, he doesn't fit into newborn anything!! We will put him in newborn creepers, but even those swallow him up. We received a creeper set made by carter's called "precious firsts". It is sold at target. When we first saw them we laughed and thought how tiny they were and that our child would surely not fit into them. Well, they are the only thing that fits him. The line doesn't have a lot of selection, but we bought everything we could find. C is probably pushing 8 pounds now, and these outfits are STILL the only thing that fits well. So if you LO could fit in preemie clothes if not for length like our son, u might wanna check this brand out.
*My little lamb bouncer. Love it. The swing...C really hasn't taken too.
*Wipe warmer. Great concept, epic fail. The wipes go cold 10 seconds after removing them from the warmer. They don't hold enough wipes. It seems to dry out the wipes. It's too bulky for the changing area.
*C is having wicked bad poops right now. We're monitoring to see if he has a milk protien allergy. All that poop led to a red, chapped, at one point cracked/bleeding little toosh. We tried desitin, butt pastes, lanolin, and eventually original A&D. The A&D has done a great job of creating a barrier, and his bum is looking 100% better.
*For little boys with circumcisions; Vaseline in the squeeze tube. One handed application is necessary to help prevent pee accidents. Minimizes prolonged exposure, less time for him to give anyone (including himself) a squirt.
*Snuggle nest sleeper. This is what we are currently using in the bed with us. It is portable, light, has a hard shell covered with soft/plush fabric, it has a little mattress and sleep positioned, and even a little light (although it's very dim as to not wake baby). C is only inches away from me when he sleeps, and DP doesn't feel like she's going to roll over on him. We got ours new at a consignment shop for $17. Definitely worth it!
That's it for now; I'm sure I'll add more later.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
2 weeks...
2 weeks; the time has just flown by. Right now the babe is napping while I tote the baby monitor with me like it is my lifeline! I don't like leaving him unsupervised, even while napping. These 2 weeks have been a far cry from easy. He's been to the pedi twice already, with another call this week to talk about poop. The boy was on a starvation diet the first 4 days of life, contributing to his jaundice (which has since cleared up). We now "supplement" with formula, although the formula to breastmilk ratio is probably 2:1. I've been desperately trying to increase my milk supply. I'm taking fenugreek and marshmallow root. I pump as often as I can, which is usually every 2-3 hours. The bub has kind of taken a shine to the bottle, leaving my boobs feeling a bit shunned. I've cried many a time over this. In the last couple of days, he'll accept the breast in between feedings (and even then, he'll only latch on the right) but I fear this breast time is more like a pacifier than a meal...at least it is nutritive sucking. I haven't started with the cloth diapering; we're waiting until his belly button stump falls off. I keep thinking it will, and it keeps hanging on! Even still, with as much as this boy poos (and until we find out if he indeed does have a milk protien allergy/reflux) I'm thinking it may be prudent to combination diaper with cloth and disposable. Best laid plans, huh? Overall he is a joy. And cute enough to eat. We already can't imagine our lives before him. The stress and sleeplessness are definitely worth every gas bubble induced smile from those pouty lips and all the other amazing/amusing things a babe can bring to your life.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Birth Story
Sorry I've been MIA; DP and I are learning about/adapting to/loving life with baby C.
Birth Story: At about 4:30 PM on 1/5, I was relaxing on the couch when I felt a warm little trickle. It really wasn't much fluid (didn't even soak through to my pants) so I thought I might have just peed myself a little. LOL. I told DP when she got home from work, and neither of us put too much thought into it. Especially since I wasn't contracting at all. Then at about 8 PM, I was walking down the hall and it happened again. A little more fluid this time, but still not much. I decided to call the doc. It took almost an hour for the on call OB to get back to me, and she said I should come in just to get checked. I still had in my head that there was a possibility I was just losing bladder control since I was 39 weeks pregnant, and I was worried about what the nurses would think once they found out I came in because I peed myself. So we did some last minute hospital bag packing (we had most everything together, but we needed toiletries, etc.) and drove 45 minutes to the hospital. We checked in to the birthing suite, they had me fill out paper work, then the nurse tested the fluid and sure enough I had a high amniotic leak. She checked my cervix and I was at 3 cm and about 90% effaced. After the cervix check, I started to contract a little, but they were still very mild. DP and I rested as best we could, because every 5 minutes the nurse would have to come in and adjust the monitors because baby C was all over the place. At about 5 am I had progressed to 7 cm and was fully effaced. The contractions were still ok; a little more intense, but the pain didn't keep me from carrying on a conversation, etc. A little after the last cervix check, my water full on broke, and the contractions got very very bad. I asked for an epidural by about 6 am. The epidural was amazing, but it was a little uneven. My right side was completely numb, while my left still had some feeling. The nurse said I was having very strong contractions about 1-2 minutes apart, but I could barely tell. At about 7 am, my OB surprised me by showing up (she wasn't supposed to be in the city...she was supposed to be at another office in a different city). She checked me and I was still at a 7. She said she would do her best to make it to the other office and back before I delivered, but that I should prepare for her partner (the OB I switched from earlier in the pregnancy) to deliver. I was disappointed to say the least. They put me on a very slow drip of pitocin, since the epidural had slowed things down. I started to feel a lot of pain on my left side, so my epidural had to be re-dosed. By 9:30 am I was at 9 cm and the nurse called my OB to let her know. Initially, my OB told the nurse to call the office and let the other OB know they'd have to deliver. But 30 minutes after that, my OB called back and told my nurse to offer me the choice of have the doc I switched from come now, or turn the pitocin off and labor down for a while and wait for her. I chose to have the pitocin turned off. Baby was still fairly high up in the birth canal, and I would have just been pushing that whole time anyway. So right before noon, my OB runs in and announces "let's push out a baby!" I was very glad she could make it. I pushed for 20 minutes or so, and Baby C was born at 12:27 PM on 1/6/11. He weighed 7 pounds 2 oz, and is 20.5 inches long. He surprised us all with a full head of gorgeous blonde hair. Several nurses said it looked like he had highlights. LOL. We are in love.
Birth Story: At about 4:30 PM on 1/5, I was relaxing on the couch when I felt a warm little trickle. It really wasn't much fluid (didn't even soak through to my pants) so I thought I might have just peed myself a little. LOL. I told DP when she got home from work, and neither of us put too much thought into it. Especially since I wasn't contracting at all. Then at about 8 PM, I was walking down the hall and it happened again. A little more fluid this time, but still not much. I decided to call the doc. It took almost an hour for the on call OB to get back to me, and she said I should come in just to get checked. I still had in my head that there was a possibility I was just losing bladder control since I was 39 weeks pregnant, and I was worried about what the nurses would think once they found out I came in because I peed myself. So we did some last minute hospital bag packing (we had most everything together, but we needed toiletries, etc.) and drove 45 minutes to the hospital. We checked in to the birthing suite, they had me fill out paper work, then the nurse tested the fluid and sure enough I had a high amniotic leak. She checked my cervix and I was at 3 cm and about 90% effaced. After the cervix check, I started to contract a little, but they were still very mild. DP and I rested as best we could, because every 5 minutes the nurse would have to come in and adjust the monitors because baby C was all over the place. At about 5 am I had progressed to 7 cm and was fully effaced. The contractions were still ok; a little more intense, but the pain didn't keep me from carrying on a conversation, etc. A little after the last cervix check, my water full on broke, and the contractions got very very bad. I asked for an epidural by about 6 am. The epidural was amazing, but it was a little uneven. My right side was completely numb, while my left still had some feeling. The nurse said I was having very strong contractions about 1-2 minutes apart, but I could barely tell. At about 7 am, my OB surprised me by showing up (she wasn't supposed to be in the city...she was supposed to be at another office in a different city). She checked me and I was still at a 7. She said she would do her best to make it to the other office and back before I delivered, but that I should prepare for her partner (the OB I switched from earlier in the pregnancy) to deliver. I was disappointed to say the least. They put me on a very slow drip of pitocin, since the epidural had slowed things down. I started to feel a lot of pain on my left side, so my epidural had to be re-dosed. By 9:30 am I was at 9 cm and the nurse called my OB to let her know. Initially, my OB told the nurse to call the office and let the other OB know they'd have to deliver. But 30 minutes after that, my OB called back and told my nurse to offer me the choice of have the doc I switched from come now, or turn the pitocin off and labor down for a while and wait for her. I chose to have the pitocin turned off. Baby was still fairly high up in the birth canal, and I would have just been pushing that whole time anyway. So right before noon, my OB runs in and announces "let's push out a baby!" I was very glad she could make it. I pushed for 20 minutes or so, and Baby C was born at 12:27 PM on 1/6/11. He weighed 7 pounds 2 oz, and is 20.5 inches long. He surprised us all with a full head of gorgeous blonde hair. Several nurses said it looked like he had highlights. LOL. We are in love.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Hind Sight...
The sight of our poor boy's hind side is definitely one for sore eyes. We've been battling thus diaper rash for nearly 3 weeks, and need I remind you, C is only 4 weeks old! His butt is red like someone painted a target sign right on it. It has been chapped, peeling, and at times has even bled. We had it clearing up with original A&D ointment, but after we changed his formula (because of his milk protein allergy) it came back with a vengeance. He's used A&D zinc, aquaphor, Vaseline, questronon (script), and nystatan (script). We have been giving him oatmeal baths nightly, spraying off his bum with water during diaper changes, stop using diaper wipes, blow drying his nether regions after diaper changes (on mildest setting of course, also...our little perv enjoys the blow dryer immensely), and he's getting 30 min to an hour diaperless a day. I just made my umpteenth call to the pedi. I have a feeling it will turn into our 5th visit either today or tomorrow. I'm afraid our pedi is going to think we are psycho Munchhausen moms because of how often we seek her professional opinion within such a short time span! I just want him to feel better. He's so gassy, colicky, and fussy some times. It sounds like we are murdering him when we change his diaper. His stools have improved in consistency since changing formula, but his bum has taken a beating. On top of all that, my milk supply continues to dwindle. I have a hospital grade pump and a script for reglan, but I haven't seen much improvement...if any. Woes me. I just want wee man to feel better and I just want to be able to feed him. Btw, for the last 2.5 weeks I have had absolutely NO dairy. I am going to give that boy every oz, or half oz, I make. Until I dry up. If it means eating like a kosher vegan (minus the no meat thing) for the next forever, then so be it. I'm off to see if little man will hold still for some pics. Wish you all well!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
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