Nothing new...

Recovery is fairly boring. I spend most of my days surfing the i-net, playing (as much as I can) with the pups, trying to ignore the needy kitten, watching TV, and probably snacking too much. Although I'm cleared to drive, my father "borrowed" the Smart Car because he wanted better gas mileage, and hasn't "had the time" to bring it back yet. So...still stuck at home.

My manager has been hounding my friends at work to ask me if I'd ask my doctor to clear me for light duty at work by 4 weeks. My FMLA and short term disability were both approved for 6 weeks. I told my manager "at least" 6 weeks before the surgery. So it irks me that she'd go out of her way to rush me. BTW...4 weeks is next Wed. So, i'm thinking NO.

I'm definitely having "body issues" concerning my scar and the way my stomach looks as it is healing/healed. My stomach is not uniform anymore. I have a baseball sized area at the top of my incision (to the right) that kinda pooches out a little more. I call it my "alien" since the area pooched out A LOT more right after surgery, and looked like there was an alien trying to poke it's way through my stomach. So...yes...it has gone down, but not in the last week or so. I'm afraid it wont go back to normal. Also...i've always been a fluffy girl, so I knew going into this that there was a possibility of wound complications. Besides some drainage, my incision is healing well. What I didn't expect was for my surgeon not to take into account that I was a fluffy girl. So when i'm laying down (like I was on the operating table) my "spare tire" lines up nicely. But when I stand, gravity takes effect, and as Kate.Goslin once put it, I have a little "butt in the front." This pretty much bothers me more than anything else. I really don't think that's going to change, unless I loose weight/have plastic surgery. Grrrreeeeaaaat.

Baby boy is doing well. We're planning our baby shower, which will be on November 6th. We are going to wear matching shirts...well almost matching. We want all our family/friends to know "who is who." Amz will be wearing her baby blue "C's Mama" shirt, while I will be wearing my baby blue "C's Mommy" shirt. If we get a better ultrasound pic, I think we want to include that on our shirts as well...if not I'm thinking we'll put little foot prints on them. He's kicking all the time now, and it's getting stronger. I think within the next couple of weeks, Amz should be able to feel the kicks from the outside. To me, they feel like a forceful thump, but without pressing down a bit...you can't feel them from the outside. With my incision running through the middle of my stomach, Amz won't apply that much pressure when she feels for the baby; she doesn't want to hurt me.

Nothing else is really going on...all I do is sit at home and recover/grow a baby. LOL.

Soccer player...

Baby boy is kicking up a storm. He's playing soccer with my only remaining ovary! I actually saw him kick on the US monitor, and then felt it at the same time...quite mind blowing.

Cyst went off to M.D. Ander.son Can.cer Cen.ter, where they declared it as "low malignant probability." Meaning...it was/is unlikely that this cyst was/is malignant, but it was still abnormal. So...we monitor for the duration of my "reproductive career" (doc's words) and then take my girly parts as a precautionary measure when i'm done making babies. Fun fun.

I'm feeling much better...i was cleared to drive! Had some sutures removed. Still have pain when bending at the waist or twisting. Otherwise, i'm healing nicely...

we're okay!

surgery went well. my huge cyst was removed on 8/11. the pathology report isn't back yet, but my surgeon said it was 'borderline malignant' and said any treatment (if need be) would occur after baby was born. my stomach is smaller, but it now has an 8 inch question mark shaped incision going down the middle. the 1st thing i asked in the recovery room was how baby was doing...which i asked repeatedly until i heard it on doppler. the next day the nurses had trouble finding it on doppler (thanks to swelling and an anterior placenta) so i got my big ultrasound a week early. we now know we have a little man on the way! i was discharged yesterday but i still have about 5 weeks left till i can go back to work. i am super tired and weak, but getting stronger everyday.

Surgery in less than 2 weeks...

...and it sucks. I am having my basketball sized ovarian cyst (along with my right ovary) removed sometime within the next two weeks. I have so many emotions going on in my head right now, but most of them are fear and guilt. I will be out of work for at least 6 weeks. This isn't the way I imagined my 2nd trimester going. *sigh*

A Few Good Things...

Well, Friday I had my dreaded ultrasound...which turned out to be fairly decent. I was supposed to have a pelvic transvaginal ultrasound which required me to drink 32 oz of water and then hold my bladder for a couple hours. That was hard. However, the tech said "let's try a transabdominal first" and it turns out we didn't have to do the transvag after all. I didn't realize they were going to spend so much time looking at baby, but it was a definite bonus. She measured each of the long bones, the head in every possible way, the belly, checked perfusion, showed me the kidneys, etc. She would stop and let me watch when the baby waived, or twisted around, and when it got hiccups. It was so cute to watch the whole baby jump each time it got a hiccup. I finnally got to see a decent profile. The heart rate was 157, which is down from 170 at 12 weeks. The only thing I didn't like was, because this was the tech that was doing it (my OB has done all the rest of my ultrasounds), I didn't get any "info." She wouldn't tell me if everything looked good/bad, or if the baby was measuring on target. She did tell me that she couldn't tell the gender yet.

Now on to the mass...it appears to be a cyst. It's still too big to tell where it attaches. The tech measured the cyst from every which way. It turns out its a little bigger than we originally thought...a little wider. So it's now a basketball, and no longer a football. Hope the baby is into sports. The tech stopped at one point and went and got the radiologist. She came in and said "wow, that's a big doo-dad you got in there." She kept asking if it hurt, or if I ever got pain. I told them no, although in the last few weeks, it smarts a bit when it gets hit (by a dog, by the med machine at work, by a car door). She told me "don't be suprised if you hear from your OB before your scheduled appointment." I asked her if she had any idea where it was coming from, and she said that when they see a cyst like this, their first thought is ovarian. Not good. So now I'm really scared that I'll have to have surgery. It's even harder to consent to getting put under general anasthesia after I saw the baby moving around. It's so...real now. I don't want to have surgery. Period. The docs are gonna have to convince me that the baby's or my life is at stake if I don't get the cyst removed. The whole idea of it scares me so bad, and pisses me off just the same. I don't want to put our baby at risk! I'm guessing I'll hear from my OB sometime early next week.

Today, Amz was feeling on my tummy and when she got over the uterus (i can now find it easily) she said it felt like I was vibrating. So i felt, and I could feel some fluttering. We ran and got the doppler (which has been useless up to this point) and the second I put the probe down on my stomach, I heard the heartbeat. Steady and strong at 156. We listened for about a minute until baby got shy and changed positions. It was really great to be able to FEEL and HEAR something without the aid of doctors. Amber and I were both really happy about it. I think I can feel the baby so early (especially since I'm a fluffy girl) because of the cyst. The baby sits in between my bladder and the cyst. That's why as the baby gets bigger, I've had to pee more often and the cyst feels like it's under my ribs. So when my bladder is full, my uterus really pops out.

So, although I'm not the least bit happy about this cyst...I am loving being able to interact with our little one. I'd include the 1 pic I got from the ultrasound yesterday, but the baby's face just looks like a little skull...which is kinda weird/freaky. So, hopefully I'll get a decent profile pic (and maybe a gender shot) when I have my anatomy scan.

EVIL TWIN...

So...i'm a little over 14 weeks now, and i'm beginning to feel quite uncomfortable at times. I don't sleep very well anymore...at all. I have always been a stomach sleeper, but even on my tempurpedic mattress it feels like i'm sleeping on a baseball. I know that's due to the fibroid thing and not the baby, but i now have to have 2 large pillows between my legs and one under my side to support my belly or i can't sleep. I feel like this is happening too soon, and I know it's because of this damn fibroid thing. (For those that don't know, when I found out I was preggo...I also found out I had a mass [most likely uterine fibroid] about the size of a child's football measuring in at 11 in x 4 in.) I've noticed some shortness of breath in the last two weeks. And sure enough, when I feel that way, if I press on my chest just below my boobs i can feel a rock hard mass. My belly button is displaced to the left because of the fibroid. Friends who know about the baby/fibroid "lovingly" refer to it as the "EVIL TWIN." This Friday I go in to have some scans done of the mass so they can definitively diagnose it. My doctor said it "looks and feels" like a fibroid, but because of the size, they can't see it's point of attachment, and therefore cannot diagnose it as a fibroid. If they find that it is anything but a fibroid, I've been told to gear up for surgery sometime in the 2nd trimester. So...I guess now i'm nervous. Nervous and uncomfortable. And stupid. Because yesterday I somehow managed to slam my car door into my side, pushing me up against the car frame and causing a very anxious couple of hours of cramping...right where the fibroid is. Woohoo. I'm hoping all this isn't effecting bean.

Sex...

IntelliGender says boy. Very clearly boy. We're not putting much stock into it, but it was kinda fun (although smelly). I'm hoping it is right, while Amz is hoping it is wrong. LOL. Names are picked out...would just love to know who this little one will be!