Something/someone just doesn't want me to write in this blog. I've started a post about six times now (over the past few weeks) and every time I'm either interrupted, the Internet goes down, i lose my post, the power goes off from bad weather, or someone "needs" to use my computer. Maybe this thing just isn't meant to be anymore.
I've had it for over a year now...and it's supposed to chronicle my life to motherhood. However, so far its chronicled my life through nursing school. My life through work. My...boring...life. Never really got anywhere with the whole "mom to be" thing. I'm so tired of fucking planning that I could just spit (or other worse things). I've been "actively planning" for about 2 years now. I've had the urge for about another 2. Excitement and optimism are fading after 4 years. I've gotten to the point that when I see BFP's on the forums or elsewhere I'm not instantly happy for them. My first reaction is selfish, and then I remember to be happy for their blessing. And I haven't even tried yet! I don't know how those of you who have been trying for a while deal with it. I get jealous just hearing about people trying for a baby. It's sad and pathetic really. I think that's another reason that I stay away from the forums and this blog. It's a reminder that I haven't done anything yet...and it all seems like wasted time.
In other news, there's a new countdown...to our Orlando vacation! A week in Orlando starting the 20th. Sure, we'll miss Thanksgiving with the family...but that is awkward for me anyway. Amber and I will go out and find something nice in Orlando to eat that evening. Hopefully we'll get to relax along with all the other fun things we plan on doing. =)
Today I got a new car. Or a new to me car. It's a 2009 Smart Car. Cherry red, with a newly extended factory warranty. Bring on the great gas mileage! I wasn't planning on buying a new car until I got our tax return in February or March, but this kind of fell into my lap...so we're running with it. Not practical for family life, but when/if that ever happens, we'll have Amber's car. Which she assures me that there is ample enough room to fit 2 car seats in the back seat.
Dakota may be getting a big sister. Amber fell in love with our trainer's foster dog, Sadie. She is a 2 year old bully mix. Some say Pitt/Boxer, others say Bull Terrier/Boxer; regardless, she's up for adoption through the Lone Star Boxer Rescue. She's fully trained and is a real sweetheart. We're going to be spending more time with her over the next couple of months, in order to make sure she's a good fit for our family, and we're a good fit for her. I'll keep y'all up to date about that process as it unfolds.
Still looking for a rental house that fits our needs, our lifestyle, and our budget. We've checked some out and subsequently raised the amount we are willing to spend on rent. Our new price range is $900-1200. Of course we'd love to find that hidden gem that rents for $900 and is in a good neighborhood...but...we're realistic. Our projected move date is January 1st (or sooner if at all possible).
Well, that's enough for now. Hopefully, I'll be better at keeping up with this thing. No promises thought.
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My name is Hev and my wonderful DP is Amz. We've been together going on 8 years now, and our lives are falling into place. School is in the past, we both have good jobs, and it seems like all our dreams are within reach. One dream in particular: having a baby. We are now proud parents of the most beautiful baby boy! Born 1/6/11!
2 comments:
Hey, I totally get it. It took me and partner 4 years to actually get to insemination point what with journeys with sperm donors money ect ect. To not fall pregnant then straight away was a rude shock. I think everything you feel (particularly around pregnant women) is so normal... I think all that stuff too, all the time. Thanks for sharing and good luck with house hunting. Em.
I hear you on the baby thing, there is something about knowing that it isn't just going to happen that... i don't know... J has said that if it weren't for that we probably would have had kids 7 years ago-- I think she's right! Good luck with it all, I start taking my temperature again tomorrow-- I quit a while ago because it felt too stressful and too far away.
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